I am grateful to my colleague Caroline Rushworth for this guest post. Caroline can be contacted at her newly launched website www.carolinerushforth.com
The topic of money is a sensitive subject which affects each of us in different ways, but the relationship we have with prosperity is down to something we all have in common: our deeply rooted beliefs and the relationship we have with ourselves.
Throughout my coaching and training experience, I have witnessed both ends of the abundance spectrum. I have seen people persevere and succeed in reaching their goals and go on to be very successful in their business or chosen career. I have also seen many fall flat on their face, walking away feeling deflated and worthless. The good news is that we can all be successful – but there are just a few things you should be aware of first.
Big Secret Number 1:
You are to blame for the relationship you have with money
When you think about your past, what stories do you tell yourself and others about your childhood and money? Do you tell people that you had abundance or scarcity? Perhaps you think about the times where there wasn’t enough food or perhaps your parents didn’t buy things for you. All of these experiences will have an impact on how you relate to money and success in the present day.
When we were young we looked to our support network of family, friends and teachers as role
models, gently absorbing their beliefs and values so we could form an identity. As we developed we began to have new experiences that were either harmonious to our growth or detrimental, causing us to form additional personal beliefs according to our experiences. A mixture of these beliefs and values form who we are today and they shape our attitude towards money as adults.
Do any of these beliefs sound familiar?
- I have to work hard to gain money
- I don’t deserve to have money
- Money causes pain and suffering
- I never have enough money
- I can’t afford to spend money
- Money never comes to me
- I always have bad luck with money
- Wealthy people are lucky
- I am not worthy of being wealthy
- Money causes arguments
- I must work in a job I dislike to have money
These are referred to as ‘limiting beliefs’: they are beliefs that we hold close but they have a negative impact on our attitude towards money. Although these limiting beliefs can feel very real and true, they cause us to feel restricted in our relationship with prosperity. The same thing applies to any negative belief you have in your mind: the more negatively you perceive something, the harder it is to be flexible to opportunities for personal change.
Your beliefs and values can change at any time, but it is down to you to transform them if you are to have a more balanced and harmonious relationship with money. We are constantly reminded that abundance and prosperity is relative to our state of mind, so if you feel that you lack or struggle to obtain money, then a bit of mind re-tuning may be in order.
To learn more about your behaviours around money, take a piece of paper and some quiet time
and write down your honest answers to the following questions:
- Describe your spending habits. Are you an impulsive spender or a careful controller?
- Do you look to material possessions to lift your mood?
- How do you react to other people’s wealth?
- Do you find yourself spewing venom at anyone who is financially better off?
- How does it make you feel to receive money – from friends, family, clients or customers?
- Do you feel any resistance to giving money out?
- How does it feel when you pay your bills?
- Would you say you are lucky or unlucky with money? Why do you think that?
Many successful entrepreneurs know what it is to live a life of poverty. Some have come from homelessness or pulled themselves out of dysfunctional family situations. But their success hasn’t been down to simple luck; they changed their attitude and created a vision for themselves. An attitude shift can happen at any moment for anyone with the right mindset.
Taking the above beliefs, you can get into a habit of changing a few words around so the beliefs no longer seem limiting. To show you how this works, here are the same old limiting beliefs reframed as empowering, positive beliefs:
OLD LIMITING BELIEFS / NEW POSITIVE BELIEFS
I have to work hard to gain money / I allow success into my life
I don’t deserve to have money / I deserve to have money
Money causes pain and suffering / Money creates happiness and joy
I never have enough money / I can have enough money if I choose to
I can’t afford to spend money / I can spend money wisely
Money never comes to me / Money is OK for me to have
I always have bad luck with money / I trust myself with money
Wealthy people are lucky / It is OK for other people to have money
I am not worthy of being wealthy / I am equal to anyone else
Money causes arguments / Money allows me freedom and choice
I must work in a job I dislike to have money / I can make money doing what I love
A simple change in how you say things in your mind or out loud has a positive impact on your
mindset. That way, you can allow the thought to come, but without the feelings of guilt that may
have accompanied it before.
Big Secret Number 2:
You are worth it, you just don’t realise it yet
If you want to be successful in your business or career, it’s not someone else’s job to create your success; it’s down to you. In addition, if you don’t believe in yourself or your product or service, why should anyone else? Whether you want to get more clients or climb the career ladder, it’s your responsibility to make it happen.
Does any of this negative self-talk sound familiar to you?
- I never get offered a pay rise
- I don’t deserve money
- They can’t afford to pay me
- I’m not worth the money
- They won’t like my product/service
- My product is not good enough
- I am not good enough
- I feel guilty asking for payment
- I am embarrassed to ask for more
- I deserve more recognition
If you added up all the time and money you’d spent on your own personal investment into your skills and knowledge and into creating your product or service, how many hours would it come to? This is something people tend to forget but it is highly relevant, whether you have your own business or you are working for someone else.
Here are some reminders to help you feel more worthy of getting the financial reward you deserve:
Your time is worth money
Whether you have dedicated some of your life to self-development, university or employment to
up-skill, remind yourself how much time throughout your life you have invested into cultivating a
skill or expertise, and that you have created something of commercial value.
Money is an energy exchange
Sometimes we can complete an energy exchange by doing something else in return, but
essentially money allows us to buy nice things and enjoy a more comfortable life. Each time
we part with our money we are investing in someone else’s livelihood, and then they invest in
someone else after that.
It’s good practice to drill down and discover what having more money would do for you. Before
he was famous, actor Jim Carey wrote himself a cheque for 10 Million Dollars for “services rendered”. He is now one of the wealthiest and most famous actors in the world! Decide on a figure of money you want to have and write down all the things you would spend the money on, so you can start to bring in the essence with your ideas.
Ask for a pay rise
All successful business owners are driven by similar values – such as money, success, achievement and leadership. Whether you work for someone who is a senior manager, director or even the CEO of a company, or you work directly for the business owner, they all have something in common: they make money for the business. Business drives the economy; it pays for our survival and gives us more freedom to do the things we want to do. Every business owner will want the best, highest performing people working for him.
If this sounds like you, ask yourself: when was the last time you had a pay rise? Similarly, when
was the last time you asked for a pay rise? Notice the difference in your neurology when you think
about asking for money as opposed to having it offered to you. There are many ways you can be
proactive in asking for a pay rise and successfully achieving it!
Give your customers what they want
An artist selling her artwork may feel that because she has a natural talent for something, she is not deserving of reasonable payment for her work. But if you were a passionate advocate of art and beautiful pictures made your house look nice and brought your family great happiness, how much would you be willing to pay for an amazing painting to grace your walls?
Customers buy your product or service because it will benefit them in some way and it will turn a
problem into a solution. They could be investing in themselves, giving a gift or helping to change the way they feel. They need and want what you have, so why keep it to yourself? Tell the world about your gift. Your skills and expertise are no use tucked away in a cupboard or stuffed to the back of your mind.
Big Secret Number 3:
Your own self-belief and confidence have an impact on your success
For most people, the essence of success manifests itself in a feeling of self-love, self-esteem or self-worth. If you say to yourself “I am successful”, how does it feel? As you acknowledge your success it
becomes easier to view yourself as successful. So, if you tend to lean more towards focusing on all the things you didn’t get right or where you made mistakes, you will view yourself as not good enough, or even as a failure.
As you bring the feeling of success into your body more frequently, this feeling will draw further success to you in every area of your life. Appreciate where you are now and focus on how far you have come already in the amazing university of life! The more you acknowledge your success, the more you will build upon it.
You can change your mindset
The way you interact with your inner world and outer world makes a big difference to how
success finds its way to you.
Logic will get you from A to Z but imagination will get you everywhere.
Albert Einstein
Your subconscious mind is a powerful driving machine. It has complete control over your behaviours, emotions and mindset and takes you towards more of what you think about. If you’re grumpy and constantly picking out the flaws in what isn’t working in your life, your subconscious mind will take that as your reality and bring you more of it. So, if you are a natural pessimist, perhaps it’s time to consider doing something differently. You may want to start by paying attention to your own personal navigation system, also known as your emotions. Learn to listen to your mind and body because when you tune in you will notice how much energy and enthusiasm you have for the day ahead. If you’re feeling flat and unfulfilled, your day will continue with the same energy output and attract it in. If you’re feeling broke and financially restricted, think about what you could do that enriches you that doesn’t cost anything, so you can get into a routine of changing your state of mind.
One of the most effective things you can do is focus on what is working well for you and consider
all the things you have already that many others don’t.
Get into the gratitude habit
The more gratitude you have, the more rooted and positive your body will feel, which has an
impact on your mindset too. Ultimately, this all contributes to the energy of money coming in and
out of your life.
To get into the flow of bringing more abundance into your life, it’s useful to create a habit of
reminding yourself about what you DO have already and why you are grateful. Then write out a
daily or monthly list of the things you would like. Tune in and discover what essence having those
things will bring you, then begin to behave in a way as though you already have it. To get you
started, write down ten things you are grateful for today:
10 things I am grateful for today are:
1. _______________________________________________________
2. _______________________________________________________
3. _______________________________________________________
4. _______________________________________________________
5. _______________________________________________________
6. _______________________________________________________
7. _______________________________________________________
8. _______________________________________________________
9. _______________________________________________________
10. ______________________________________________________
6 things I would like this month are:
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________
Having these things will make me feel:
_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
I really hope that you have found this article useful. If you have any questions or would like help
in transforming your business, uplifting your career or changing your relationship with money,
feel free to get in touch.
